What to do when someone dies

The first hours

What you do first depends on where and how the person died. The first legal step is always the same. A doctor, nurse or other authorized person must officially pronounce the death.

• In a hospital or nursing home, staff will handle the pronouncement and tell you what happens next.
• At home under hospice care, call the hospice team. They will send a nurse and help with the next steps.
• At home and unexpected, call 911. Emergency responders will come, and the police or a medical examiner may need to be involved.

There is no need to rush once the death is pronounced. It is fine to sit with the person for a while, call a close family member or a faith leader, and take a moment before making any calls about arrangements.

The first day

Once the death is pronounced, the next call is usually to a funeral home. They will arrange to bring the person into their care. If you have not chosen one yet, you can take a little time. A hospital can often hold the body briefly while you decide.

Check whether the person had a prepaid funeral plan, which would name a funeral home already. Also check whether they wished to donate their organs or body, as this needs to happen quickly.

Tell close family and friends. You do not have to make every call yourself. Ask one or two people to help spread the news.

Take care of practical things at home. Make sure pets are fed and looked after, lock the house and any car, and keep an eye on mail and valuables if the home will be empty.

The first few days

The days after a death are often busy with arrangements. The funeral home will help you through most of them.

• Meet the funeral director to plan the service, burial or cremation, and ask for the itemized price list.
• Give the funeral home the details they need for the death certificate, such as full name, date and place of birth, parents’ names and Social Security number.
• Order certified copies of the death certificate. Many offices need an original, so it helps to have several.
• Write and publish an obituary, or ask the funeral home to help.
• Look for the will, life insurance policies and any letters of instruction.
• Choose who will speak, read or carry the casket at the service.

For more about copies of the certificate, see how to get a copy of a death certificate.

The first weeks

After the service, attention turns to official tasks and the person’s affairs. Most of these do not need to happen right away, but it helps to make a list and work through it slowly.

• Make sure Social Security has been told. Funeral homes often report the death for you, but it is worth checking.
• Contact life insurance companies and any employer or pension plan about benefits.
• Tell banks, credit card companies and the three credit bureaus.
• Keep paying essential bills, such as the mortgage, rent, insurance and utilities, so the home stays safe.
• Collect mail and keep a folder of all paperwork, receipts and letters.

Our guide on who to notify when someone dies gives a full checklist.

Starting on the estate

The will usually names an executor, the person responsible for settling the estate. If there is no will, a court can appoint someone, often a close relative. This person gathers assets, pays debts and final bills, and then passes on what is left.

Some estates need to go through probate, a court process that confirms the will and gives the executor legal authority. Others are small or simple enough to avoid it, depending on state law and how assets were held. Our guide on what probate is explains the basics.

Avoid paying the person’s debts from your own money, and avoid giving away belongings before the executor has a clear picture. If the estate is large, complex or disputed, speak with an estate attorney.

What can wait

It can feel as though everything must be done at once. It does not. Many tasks can wait weeks or even months without harm.

• Sorting and giving away clothes and belongings.
• Selling a house or car.
• Closing email and social media accounts.
• Choosing a headstone or deciding where to scatter ashes.

Big decisions made in the first weeks of grief are sometimes regretted. When you can, give yourself time.

Caring for yourself

Grief is tiring, and paperwork makes it harder. Try to eat, rest and accept help when it is offered. Let friends run errands, bring meals or sit with you while you make calls.

Keep a simple notebook of who you called, when, and what they said. It saves a great deal of repeated effort later.

If you feel overwhelmed, talk to your doctor, a faith leader or a grief support group. Many hospices offer bereavement support to families, even months after a death.